99 Problems but Mitt ain’t one

„This Political Remix Video features Barack Obama rapping a modified version of Jay Z’s ’99 Problems’. Mitt Romney has a few lines in the role of ‘the police officer’. This parable I give unto you: Not a few who meant to cast out their devil went thereby into the swine themselves.“

If you’re havin’ bank problems I feel bad for you son
I got 99 problems but Mitt’s not one

[Verse One]
I got protesters saying our economy blows
And my Wall Street brothers want Occupy closed
You b*tches keep saying, “No change = no votes.”
I work for the banks, stupid. What type of threats are those?
The gas pump’s where your whole paycheck goes
It’s been a long time since you was havin’ cash flow
So, f*ck my critics: you can kiss my gas-hole
If you don’t like my lyrics, then you can hit the road
Who cares about the polls? This election’s a show
You wanna vote for Mitt? I don’t give a sh*t, so
News mags try to use my weak a**
So advertisers give them more cash for ads, f*ckers
I don’t know what you take me as
But understand the intelligence Obama has
You’re from riches to rags, b*tches. I ain’t dumb
I got 99 problems but Mitt’s not one

[Chorus]
99 Problems but Mitt ain’t one
With all your bank problems I feel bad for you, son
I got 99 problems but Mitt’s not one
Hit me

[Verse Two]
The year is 2009, and the White House is mine
But the economy’s in full mother f*cking decline
My choices at the time were to sh*t on the poor or
Fellate the banks to get elected once more
Now, I’m not tryin’ to fight JP Morgan Chase
Got their campaign dollars so I can win the race
So, I suck their d*ck and watch the country implode
I heard: “Son do you know how to cheat the tax code?”
Well, I’m young, and I’m rich, and my tax rate’s low
Don’t I look like a one-percenter? Mitt, you would know
Did I pass your test, or should I guess some mo’?
“No, just tell us what you sent down to Mexico”
If you think I’m stepping down from office for
Trafficking weapons in their drug-cartel war
I ain’t steppin’ down from shit ‘cause this president’s legit
“Well, do you mind if we see that birth certificate?”
All my records are blocked, you conspiracy hack.
And I know my rights. So, you gon’ need a warrant for that
“Wow, aren’t you sharp as a tack. Are you some type of lawyer or something?”
Well, I’m not a lawyer for nothin’
I passed the bar so I know quite a bit
Enough that you don’t stand a f*ckin’ chance, Mitt
“Well, let’s see how smart you are when the election comes”
I got 99 problems, but this b*tch aint one.
Hit me

[Repeat Chorus]

[Outro]
Criminal, fraud, repression, deceit
I murder and I plunder for the world elite*
We invade countries till we have all they own
“I have a dream.” Well, I have a drone

I’m Barack Obama, and I like this remix

[End]

( via & via )